Very Grand, Prosperous and Merry Christmas!!!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas!!!
This post is to wish all the readers a
Monday, December 15, 2008
What is your COMPUTER!!!
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that, in Spanish,unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.
''Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.
'So, a student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?
'Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class intotwo groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la Computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with othercomputers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory forpossible later retrieval;
and4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should beMasculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half thetime they ARE the problem;
and4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you hadwaited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
Now what do you think the computer should be called?
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.
''Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.
'So, a student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?
'Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class intotwo groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la Computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with othercomputers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory forpossible later retrieval;
and4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should beMasculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half thetime they ARE the problem;
and4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you hadwaited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
Now what do you think the computer should be called?
Monday, December 01, 2008
Who is Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy!?
During work, Raman and Narayan were chatting:
Raman: Narayan, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
Narayan: Oh!
Raman: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
Narayan: No.
Raman: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night courses, you would know this.The next day, the same discussion took place:
Raman: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Narayan: No.
Raman: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers"; if you take night courses, you would know this.The next day, once again:
Raman: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
Narayan: No.
Raman: He's the author of "Confessions"; if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, Narayan got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?
Raman: No!!!
Narayan: He's the guy roaming with your wife!! If you stop taking night courses, only then you would know.
“Rule: There is ‘some thing’ more important in life than Work and General Knowledge.
Raman: Narayan, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
Narayan: Oh!
Raman: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
Narayan: No.
Raman: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night courses, you would know this.The next day, the same discussion took place:
Raman: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Narayan: No.
Raman: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers"; if you take night courses, you would know this.The next day, once again:
Raman: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
Narayan: No.
Raman: He's the author of "Confessions"; if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, Narayan got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?
Raman: No!!!
Narayan: He's the guy roaming with your wife!! If you stop taking night courses, only then you would know.
“Rule: There is ‘some thing’ more important in life than Work and General Knowledge.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Deliver a Baby!!!
1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to Produce a baby .
and lastly...
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby...
Enjoy!!!
2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to Produce a baby .
and lastly...
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby...
Enjoy!!!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Some Thought provoking one liners!!!
1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers
24. The cigarette does the smoking, you are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.
28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
??.and here's the best of the lot
31. *All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else *
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers
24. The cigarette does the smoking, you are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.
28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
??.and here's the best of the lot
31. *All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else *
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Love Letter! - From the HR Manager...
To,
Juliet
Sub: Offer of love!
Ref: Meeting in coffee shop
Dearest Ms Juliet,
I am pleased to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.
I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
HR Manager
Juliet
Sub: Offer of love!
Ref: Meeting in coffee shop
Dearest Ms Juliet,
I am pleased to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.
I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
HR Manager
The Plot is too good to Miss!! Do Read it!!
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS, and President Dr. Ron Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death
Here is the story:
On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to that effect, indicating his despondency.
As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the descendent were aware that a safety net had been installed just below at the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.
"Ordinarily," Dr. Mills continued, "a person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide."
That Mr.Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands. The room on the ninth floor, whence the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by a elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr Opus. When one intends to kill subject A but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B.
When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant. They both said they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was his long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the exactation that his father would shoot his mother.
The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son, for the death of Ronald Opus. Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window.
The son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
Source: A true story from Associated Press, by Kurt Westervelt. Also, depicted in the movie Magnolia.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Customer care in 2020...!!!!
Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Galaxy Kholi . May I have your..."
Customer: "Hello, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh..., hold........ ..on..... .889861356102049 998-45-54610"
Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 43rd Floor, Akask View Apt, Cantt Road, ........
Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566.
Which number are you calling from now Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs 2249.99"
Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs10,720.55 since October last year.
That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your scooter.. ."
Customer: " What!"
Operator : "According to the details in system, you own a Lambretta 1969 Vintage Scooter,...registration number USE 8999..."
Customer: " ????"
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic.... ... "
Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^
Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 11th Nov 1986 you were convicted for using abusive language on a policeman who stopped you for driving through a one way, in fact you were driving a 1973 Ambassador bearing registeration number UTD 4267.......
Customer: [Faints]
Customer: "Hello, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh..., hold........ ..on..... .889861356102049 998-45-54610"
Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 43rd Floor, Akask View Apt, Cantt Road, ........
Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566.
Which number are you calling from now Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs 2249.99"
Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs10,720.55 since October last year.
That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your scooter.. ."
Customer: " What!"
Operator : "According to the details in system, you own a Lambretta 1969 Vintage Scooter,...registration number USE 8999..."
Customer: " ????"
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic.... ... "
Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^
Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 11th Nov 1986 you were convicted for using abusive language on a policeman who stopped you for driving through a one way, in fact you were driving a 1973 Ambassador bearing registeration number UTD 4267.......
Customer: [Faints]
Friday, August 15, 2008
Honorable MEN!!!...
Must Read for Every Man and of course Woman (to understand man)
If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man; If it's a male then feel proud of after reading it! :)
"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Mallika Sherawat."Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mallika Sherawat, You would have come up with Bipasha Basu. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to Mallika Sherawat."
If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man; If it's a male then feel proud of after reading it! :)
"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Mallika Sherawat."Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mallika Sherawat, You would have come up with Bipasha Basu. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to Mallika Sherawat."
The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is
for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.
That's our story, and we're sticking to it! "WE HONORABLE MEN!!!!!!"
Killing English...
Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostelpulling cigerette...? "
*********************************************************************
Class teacher once said :
" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
*********************************************************
once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."
*******************************************
"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."
*******************************************
dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallendown.....
*******************************************
it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered... She tried toswitch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said
" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
*******************************************
teacher in a furious mood...
write down ur name and father of ur name!!
*******************************************
"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"
*******************************************
My manager started like this
"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
*******************************************
"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased theboard
*******************************************
"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"
****************************** *************
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
*******************************************
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...
"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
*******************************************
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
*******************************************
"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"
*******************************************
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..
"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
********************************************
Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..
"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"
*********************************************************************
Class teacher once said :
" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
*********************************************************
once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."
*******************************************
"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."
*******************************************
dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallendown.....
*******************************************
it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered... She tried toswitch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said
" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
*******************************************
teacher in a furious mood...
write down ur name and father of ur name!!
*******************************************
"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"
*******************************************
My manager started like this
"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
*******************************************
"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased theboard
*******************************************
"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"
****************************** *************
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
*******************************************
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...
"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
*******************************************
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
*******************************************
"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"
*******************************************
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..
"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
********************************************
Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..
"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Ever Heard of Baba's Brand??@!!
Please read below to tickle your funny bone for once...
This is a conversation that took place between a person in the public
and a marketing guy.
marketing guy: Which SHAVING CREAM do you use?
person: Baba's
marketing guy: Which AFTERSHAVE do you use?
person: Baba's
marketing guy: Which DEODORANT do you use?
person: Baba's
marketing guy: Which TOOTHPASTE do you use?
person: Baba's
marketing guy: Which SHAMPOO do you use?
person: Baba's
marketing guy: Which VESTS do you use?
person: Baba's
marketing guy (Frustrated): Okay, tell me, What is this Baba? Is it an international company/Brand???
person: No, He is my roommate...
This is a conversation that took place between a person in the public
and a marketing guy.
marketing guy: Which SHAVING CREAM do you use?
person: Baba's
marketing guy: Which AFTERSHAVE do you use?
person: Baba's
marketing guy: Which DEODORANT do you use?
person: Baba's
marketing guy: Which TOOTHPASTE do you use?
person: Baba's
marketing guy: Which SHAMPOO do you use?
person: Baba's
marketing guy: Which VESTS do you use?
person: Baba's
marketing guy (Frustrated): Okay, tell me, What is this Baba? Is it an international company/Brand???
person: No, He is my roommate...
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Kabhi Kabhi Aditi Jindagi (Modified By A Software Engineer for a Software Engineer)
Ting Ding.. Ting Ding.. Ting Ding Ding...
Ting Ding.. Ting Ding.. Ting Ding Ding....
Kabhi kabhi aditi zindagi mein yuhi coding karna padta hai,
Kabhi kabhi aditi wo, code naa chale to ek sapna lagta hai,
Aise mein koi kaise apne fingers ko chalane se roke?
Aur kaise koi soch le everything's gonna be ok?
Kabhi kabhi to lage zindagi mein rahi naa bench aur mastiyan,
Kabhi kabhi to lage har din mushkil aur har pal ek sazaa,
Aise mein koi kaise, code karaaye, kaise ghar nikle khush hoke?
Aur kaise koi soch le everythings gonna be ok?
Soch zara jaane jaa coding ko hum kitna kostey hai,
Rote hai hum bhi agar teri screen pe koi code ko dekhte hain,
Coding to aata nahi hai magar phir bhi hum karte hai,
Ki aditi maan kabhi ,kabhi saare jahan mein code fail bhi hota hai,
Lekin coding ke baad hi, to appraisal hota hai.. รจ(too good…)
Kabhi kabhi aditi zindagi mein yuhi coding karna padta hai,
Kabhi kabhi aditi wo, code naa chale to ek sapna lagta hai,
Hey aditi hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de tu zara,
Nahi to bass thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura..
Tu khush hai to lage ki jahan ki coding ho gayi,
CEO nikle office se ,aur baantten salary,
Sun to zara madhosh hawa tujhse kehne lagi,
Ki aditi wo jo code karte ek naa ek din, phir bhool jaate hain,
Aditi, jaane tu ya jaane naa, coding phir bhi kar paate hai..
Kabhi kabhi aditi zindagi mein yuhi coding karna padta hai,
Kabhi kabhi aditi wo code naa chale to ek sapna lagta hai,
Hey aditi hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de tu zara,
Nahi to bass thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura....
Kabhi Kabhi Aditi - Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Naa!!!
Ting Ding.. Ting Ding.. Ting Ding Ding....
Kabhi kabhi aditi zindagi mein yuhi coding karna padta hai,
Kabhi kabhi aditi wo, code naa chale to ek sapna lagta hai,
Aise mein koi kaise apne fingers ko chalane se roke?
Aur kaise koi soch le everything's gonna be ok?
Kabhi kabhi to lage zindagi mein rahi naa bench aur mastiyan,
Kabhi kabhi to lage har din mushkil aur har pal ek sazaa,
Aise mein koi kaise, code karaaye, kaise ghar nikle khush hoke?
Aur kaise koi soch le everythings gonna be ok?
Soch zara jaane jaa coding ko hum kitna kostey hai,
Rote hai hum bhi agar teri screen pe koi code ko dekhte hain,
Coding to aata nahi hai magar phir bhi hum karte hai,
Ki aditi maan kabhi ,kabhi saare jahan mein code fail bhi hota hai,
Lekin coding ke baad hi, to appraisal hota hai.. รจ(too good…)
Kabhi kabhi aditi zindagi mein yuhi coding karna padta hai,
Kabhi kabhi aditi wo, code naa chale to ek sapna lagta hai,
Hey aditi hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de tu zara,
Nahi to bass thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura..
Tu khush hai to lage ki jahan ki coding ho gayi,
CEO nikle office se ,aur baantten salary,
Sun to zara madhosh hawa tujhse kehne lagi,
Ki aditi wo jo code karte ek naa ek din, phir bhool jaate hain,
Aditi, jaane tu ya jaane naa, coding phir bhi kar paate hai..
Kabhi kabhi aditi zindagi mein yuhi coding karna padta hai,
Kabhi kabhi aditi wo code naa chale to ek sapna lagta hai,
Hey aditi hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de tu zara,
Nahi to bass thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura....
Kabhi Kabhi Aditi - Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Naa!!!
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Pappu Can't CODE saala!!!
[Kit kit kat kat, kat kit kat kat, Kit kit kat kat, Let's code]
Hai bachelor (hai bachelor), Has lotsa dollar (lotsa dollar)...
Hai bachelor, has lotsa dollar...Spectacular!
He's a developer (he's a developer, he's a developer)...
Pappu ka dimaag tez hai,
Pappu ko breaks ka craze hai...
Pappu ka chashma thick black,
Pappu dikhta geek hai (geek hai)...
Swatch ki ghadi hathon mein,
Gale mein tag company wala...
[Par Pappu can't code saala]
Han Pappu code likh nahi sakta!
Paida Pappu hua to outsourcing aa thamki...
Angrezon ke muh se nikhli gandhe gaaliyon ki dhamki...
(hey array array) Pappu karta hey cut copy paste...
(hey array array) Tester logon ka time karta hey waste...
(hey array array) Pappu manager logon ka yaar hai...
(hey array array) Pappu beer peene mein toh star hai...
[But Pappu can't code saala]
Haan Pappu code likh nahi sakta!
Papa kehte the bada kaam karega...
Nahi patha tha Pappu bus maska marega...
(hey array array) Pappu ke paas hai MBA...
(hey array array) Manata hai onsite jaise ho holiday...
(hey array array) Pappu keyboard bajata hai...
(hey array array) Jahaan bhi jata hai, wapus aa jata hai...
[Cos Pappu can't code saala]
Haan Pappu code likh nahi sakta...
Yeah...Pappu can't code saala...!!!
Hai bachelor (hai bachelor), Has lotsa dollar (lotsa dollar)...
Hai bachelor, has lotsa dollar...Spectacular!
He's a developer (he's a developer, he's a developer)...
Pappu ka dimaag tez hai,
Pappu ko breaks ka craze hai...
Pappu ka chashma thick black,
Pappu dikhta geek hai (geek hai)...
Swatch ki ghadi hathon mein,
Gale mein tag company wala...
[Par Pappu can't code saala]
Han Pappu code likh nahi sakta!
Paida Pappu hua to outsourcing aa thamki...
Angrezon ke muh se nikhli gandhe gaaliyon ki dhamki...
(hey array array) Pappu karta hey cut copy paste...
(hey array array) Tester logon ka time karta hey waste...
(hey array array) Pappu manager logon ka yaar hai...
(hey array array) Pappu beer peene mein toh star hai...
[But Pappu can't code saala]
Haan Pappu code likh nahi sakta!
Papa kehte the bada kaam karega...
Nahi patha tha Pappu bus maska marega...
(hey array array) Pappu ke paas hai MBA...
(hey array array) Manata hai onsite jaise ho holiday...
(hey array array) Pappu keyboard bajata hai...
(hey array array) Jahaan bhi jata hai, wapus aa jata hai...
[Cos Pappu can't code saala]
Haan Pappu code likh nahi sakta...
Yeah...Pappu can't code saala...!!!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Brotherhood & Empathy...
Ever thought what a 4 year kid's toy would make you feel??? Honestly! silly, useless, or at times amusing, and that too if there is a quotient of something interesting in it... but mostly irrelevant! Ever thought what an adolescents fear of the world, insecurity of thoughts would mean to you? Until the individual is related, and sometimes, even though related, mostly NOTHING!!! Probably, if you are a middle aged person, or maybe older, all those cases are just not you, so you wouldn't really relate. Ever wondered how much does a person of the same age group as you, really get to your thoughts, his/her actions, thoughts, feelings or even situation impress upon you? Lets be honest, the answer would be "i don't know.." or a "Ummm.. somewhat...", and this too if you know or are interested about the person you are thinking about. Otherwise its mostly a shrug, which probably says "please don't bother!".
That, my friend, may be categorized as ignorance, unempathetic behaviour... wonder! where does it come from? Are all people that selfish, to such an extent that we are blind to so many intricate, delicate and beautiful things in the world, that we are shielded from all the suffering and the pain in the world? And if you are reading this and have the opportunity to read this, you are for sure mostly well off than a very big majority of the population around us. When we were children there was no such segregation of the society which suddenly crops up when we grow up and become mature. Lets look at it from an outsiders perspective, we behave in a more immature manner, the more we grow old and are supposed to be mature...
The truth may be far from being blind or shielded, it may be, and to some extent it is that we have grown accustomed to seeing all this for a long time. From a time we were kids when we could do nothing about it till date when we don't want, bother or simply don't have time to look any more... and here's a paradox, we still look but not look at such things with a similar indifference, as if we still cannot influence anything around us, as if we still cannot do anything about the things happening around us.
Some wise man has very rightly said:
"Charity begins at home"
and that is as true today as it was in the past and so it would be in the times to come. Since childhood there was so many things we have always wanted to do and so many things that we never could and possibly, one among them was a innate and burning desire to help people around us. So if we were resourceful enough, or were taught to be helpful since childhood, helpful!, to all around us, to people who had a genuine need, may it be our friend, relative, neighbour or may be someone unknown, we'd probably be empathizing and helping with people around us. Now though we are too much familiar with it, we've kindof grown up on it.
We talk so much about religion, some of us even say we are really pious and devoted men, well even women. Its real sarcastic and sometimes funny when such people commit such unjust acts towards others. You'd feel like asking, where is your piety? where is your devotion? Doesn't devotion and piety ask you to be accomodative of people around you, are you not supposed to treat all men as equals, to spread harmony and brotherhood and tolerance!!?
An ocean so vast is also made up of drops of water, that is to say, when each on of us understands the importance of our individual contribution towards a target so vast, which can only be conquered by all of us believing and beginning to contribute, joining hands to overcome, and most importantly empathize with each other and each others problems, feelings and emotions. we can all join together as one and make this world a better living place.
Lets make the world a better place!..
Thursday, April 17, 2008
"Reality Check" or Quarter Life Crisis???
Has it occurred too many times in our lives!? Or is it just a figment of our imagination? We keep wondering, whenever we come across situations which bring us face to face with reality... the so called "Reality Check". U ask? oh.. yes!, what brings us to such situations? what incites and ignites such thoughts in us? Do we have any clue or we just indulge? What is this?! Quarter Life Crisis!?!
Truth!!! though difficult is that we are beings who have all the time looked around for comfort zones and have stuck to those for dear life whenever we have happened to come across, even by accident. When we are most unaware or shall i say least expecting we get HIT!, by what?! we never realise. By the time we ever do or have ever done, its too late and the facts are laughing on our faces.
Truth!!! though difficult is that we are beings who have all the time looked around for comfort zones and have stuck to those for dear life whenever we have happened to come across, even by accident. When we are most unaware or shall i say least expecting we get HIT!, by what?! we never realise. By the time we ever do or have ever done, its too late and the facts are laughing on our faces.
We always kept thinking we'd be there forever, our comfort zones would be there forever... a nonexistent and unreal "Forever". Life moves on, people in our lives move on... we realise we are left behind by so many... We tend to think and try to figure... what went wrong and mostly get no answers... getting more and more confused by the hour and days.. every passing moment makes us more and more confused... and we end up getting farther and farther from our friends and our loved ones, hoping to find some place where we'd be settled... settled for good!!! Times come when the feelings of security becomes strong and also when we are most insecure... we are the most confused...
Then all of a sudden, as if enlightened by the Great Gautam Buddha himself, we begin mistrusting our friends and loved ones, creating new boundaries, or rather discovering new ones, to which we keep adding new facts to the 'rights' and 'wrongs' and begin expecting others to adhere to our values and to those boundaries. and getting more and more stubborn and confused in the process of setting the self realised and a bit too many parameters for others and not finding much compliance.
Is it only us who feel this way? Can it be? Is it? For sure it isn't, and we need to realise, this is what our friends and loved ones, yes! those that we have begun to mistrust, are also going through a similar dilemma!
And now that we relate to this, we are more aware of the confusion within us, we are more aware of the confusion amongst our friends and loved ones, more aware of the divides!!! Lets pledge to reach out, and let the others know that they are not alone... We are with them and we trust them as we used to earlier... Show that we care.. Show that we love.. and then NEVER, Yes!, never we'd be alone in our lives... and never fall with no one around around to pick us up.. Never crumble when taken down unexpectedly..
Lets make our lives better!!!
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