Chitika

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Friday, August 15, 2008

Honorable MEN!!!...

Must Read for Every Man and of course Woman (to understand man)

If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man; If it's a male then feel proud of after reading it! :)

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Mallika Sherawat."Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mallika Sherawat, You would have come up with Bipasha Basu. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to Mallika Sherawat."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is
for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.


That's our story, and we're sticking to it! "WE HONORABLE MEN!!!!!!"

Killing English...

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostelpulling cigerette...? "
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Class teacher once said :
" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
*********************************************************
once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."
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"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."
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dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallendown.....
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it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered... She tried toswitch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said
" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
*******************************************
teacher in a furious mood...
write down ur name and father of ur name!!
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"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"
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My manager started like this
"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
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"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased theboard
*******************************************
"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"
****************************** *************
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
*******************************************
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...
"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
*******************************************
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
*******************************************
"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"
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Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..
"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
********************************************
Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..
"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Ever Heard of Baba's Brand??@!!

Please read below to tickle your funny bone for once...

This is a conversation that took place between a person in the public
and a marketing guy.

marketing guy: Which SHAVING CREAM do you use?
person: Baba's

marketing guy: Which AFTERSHAVE  do you use?
person: Baba's

marketing guy: Which DEODORANT do you use?
person: Baba's

marketing guy: Which TOOTHPASTE do you use?
person: Baba's

marketing guy: Which SHAMPOO do you use?
person: Baba's

marketing guy: Which VESTS do you use?
person: Baba's





marketing guy (Frustrated): Okay, tell me, What is this Baba? Is it an international company/Brand???


person: No, He is my roommate...

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Kabhi Kabhi Aditi Jindagi (Modified By A Software Engineer for a Software Engineer)

Ting Ding.. Ting Ding.. Ting Ding Ding...
Ting Ding.. Ting Ding.. Ting Ding Ding....

Kabhi kabhi aditi zindagi mein yuhi coding karna padta hai,
Kabhi kabhi aditi wo, code naa chale to ek sapna lagta hai,
Aise mein koi kaise apne fingers ko chalane se roke?
Aur kaise koi soch le everything's gonna be ok?

Kabhi kabhi to lage zindagi mein rahi naa bench aur mastiyan,
Kabhi kabhi to lage har din mushkil aur har pal ek sazaa,
Aise mein koi kaise, code karaaye, kaise ghar nikle khush hoke?
Aur kaise koi soch le everythings gonna be ok?

Soch zara jaane jaa coding ko hum kitna kostey hai,
Rote hai hum bhi agar teri screen pe koi code ko dekhte hain,
Coding to aata nahi hai magar phir bhi hum karte hai,
Ki aditi maan kabhi ,kabhi saare jahan mein code fail bhi hota hai,
Lekin coding ke baad hi, to appraisal hota hai.. รจ(too good…)

Kabhi kabhi aditi zindagi mein yuhi coding karna padta hai,
Kabhi kabhi aditi wo, code naa chale to ek sapna lagta hai,
Hey aditi hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de tu zara,
Nahi to bass thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura..

Tu khush hai to lage ki jahan ki coding ho gayi,
CEO nikle office se ,aur baantten salary,
Sun to zara madhosh hawa tujhse kehne lagi,
Ki aditi wo jo code karte ek naa ek din, phir bhool jaate hain,
Aditi, jaane tu ya jaane naa, coding phir bhi kar paate hai..

Kabhi kabhi aditi zindagi mein yuhi coding karna padta hai,
Kabhi kabhi aditi wo code naa chale to ek sapna lagta hai,
Hey aditi hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de, hass de tu zara,
Nahi to bass thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura....

Kabhi Kabhi Aditi - Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Naa!!!

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Pappu Can't CODE saala!!!

[Kit kit kat kat, kat kit kat kat, Kit kit kat kat, Let's code]

Hai bachelor (hai bachelor), Has lotsa dollar (lotsa dollar)...
Hai bachelor, has lotsa dollar...Spectacular!
He's a developer (he's a developer, he's a developer)...

Pappu ka dimaag tez hai,
Pappu ko breaks ka craze hai...
Pappu ka chashma thick black,
Pappu dikhta geek hai (geek hai)...
Swatch ki ghadi hathon mein,
Gale mein tag company wala...
[Par Pappu can't code saala]
Han Pappu code likh nahi sakta!

Paida Pappu hua to outsourcing aa thamki...
Angrezon ke muh se nikhli gandhe gaaliyon ki dhamki...
(hey array array) Pappu karta hey cut copy paste...
(hey array array) Tester logon ka time karta hey waste...
(hey array array) Pappu manager logon ka yaar hai...
(hey array array) Pappu beer peene mein toh star hai...
[But Pappu can't code saala]

Haan Pappu code likh nahi sakta!
Papa kehte the bada kaam karega...
Nahi patha tha Pappu bus maska marega...
(hey array array) Pappu ke paas hai MBA...
(hey array array) Manata hai onsite jaise ho holiday...
(hey array array) Pappu keyboard bajata hai...
(hey array array) Jahaan bhi jata hai, wapus aa jata hai...
[Cos Pappu can't code saala]
Haan Pappu code likh nahi sakta...
Yeah...Pappu can't code saala...!!!