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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Secret of Task Management

Quotes of the Day !!!
Do not speak of your happiness to one less fortunate than yourself.
The secret of getting started is breaking your complex,overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.
Joke of the Day !!!

The students, who have parked their bikes on the driveway, please move them.

Another announcement after 20 minutes:

"The 200 students who went to move 9 cars please return to their respective classes."

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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
"Learn from the mistakes of others... you can't live long enough to make them all yourselves!!"
"Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you are ready or not, to put this plan into action."
Joke of the Day !!!
Manu, recently arrived in the US, wanting to earn some money and decided to become a handyman. He wanders out to an up market residential area nearby and knocks on the first door he sees.
The owner opens the door. Manu is delighted to see that he is an Indian too, and asks him if he has any odd jobs that he could give him to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch", the owner says. "How much will you charge?"
Manu ponders and then says, "How about $50?"
"Fine", the owner says. "There's a can of brown paint and brushes in the garage."
The owner's wife, overhearing the conversation from inside the house, asks her husband, "Does he realize that the porch goes all around the house?
That's a whole day's job."
The man replies, "He should, he was standing on it! Do you think he's dumb?"
"No", the wife said, "I don't think so.
A short while later, Manu comes to the door and asks for the $50.
"You've finished already?" the husband asks, surprised.
"Yes," he replies, "and there was paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reaches into his pocket for the money and hands it to Manu.
"Thank you! And by the way," Manu adds, "it's not a Porch, it's a BMW!

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Monday, December 12, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there,what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?
It's not enough that I should succeed -- others should also succeed

Jokes of the Day !!!

A woman meets an attractive man in a bar and asks him what he is drinking.

'Magic Beer,' he says.

She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man
sitting at the bar and says, 'That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?'

'Yes, I'll show you.'

He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times and comes back in the window.

The lady can't believe it: 'I bet you can't do that again.'

He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.

She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, 'Give her one of what I'm having.'

She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window,
plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.

The bartender looks up at the guy and says, 'You know, Superman, you're a real ******* when you're drunk.'

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Ugly Truth:

In Bed,

It's 6AM,

You Close Your Eyes for 5 mins... & it's 7:45

But in Office,

It's 9:30am

You Close Your Eyes for 5 mins...

& It's Still 9:31

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Friday, December 09, 2011

Time is Important!

Quotes of the Day !!!
All that really belongs to us is time; even he who has nothing else has that.
To desire and strive to be of some service to the world, to aim at doing something which shall really increase the happiness and welfare and virtue of humankind--this is a choice which is possible for all of us; and surely it is a good haven to sail for.
Joke of the Day !!!
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.
The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
---------------
A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, 'You're beautiful.' Then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side.
A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, 'You're cute..'
The wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful,' it was now 'cute.' She asked, 'What happened to beautiful?'
'The drugs are wearing off.' the man replied.


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Thursday, December 08, 2011

Patience is a Virtue, Especially with Self!

Quotes of the Day !!!
Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew.
All life is a chance. So take it! The person who goes furthest is the one who is willing to do and dare.
Joke of the Day !!!
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons.
After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next night, the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read,
"Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide."
The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons were missing, but the sign next to his read, "Now there are
two!"

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Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Love your Work!?

Quotes of the Day !!!
Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. 
 Success doesn't come to you, you go to it.
Joke of the Day !!!

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill.

"I'm shocked!" she complained.

"This is three times what you normally charge."

"Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you screamed so loudly, you scared away two other patients."

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Friday, November 18, 2011

Best Break-up Letter

A Soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girl frnd.
It read as follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. Im sorry.
... Please return the picture of me that I sent to u.
Love,
Becky.

The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any pictures they could spare of their girl friends, sisters, or ex-girlfriends.
In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all other pictures of pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.
There were abt some50 photos in tat envelope along with this note:

Dear Becky,
Im so sorry, but I cant remember who the hell u are!!
Please take ur picture from the file, and send the rest back to me.
Take care,
Ricky.

Moral of the story:
If u can’t change your fate , change ur attitude

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Monday, November 07, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it. 
Anything that is of value in life only multiplies when it is given.
Joke of the Day !!!

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year.

Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."

And every year Martha would say, "I know, Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

This one year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance. "

Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten
dollars."

Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they go.

The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard.

He does all his tricks over a gain, but still not a word.

They land and the pilot turns to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."


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Adjust your Sideview Mirrors - Twelve Steps


Twelve Steps to Adjust your Sideview Mirrors

Find a safe place to park your car.

Park your car in your driveway or any other safe place where you are unlikely to be hit by other cars as you adjust your mirrors.

Sit in your driver's seat.

Get ready to adjust your 2 sideview mirrors and your rearview mirror.

Imagine two lanes of traffic, one on your left side and one on your right side.

Now imagine that you are driving on the freeway. You are in one of the middle lanes. Visualize one lane of traffic on your immediate left, on the driver's side. Visualize another lane of traffic, to your immediate right, on the passenger's side.

Move your driver's side sideview mirrors outward.

Adjust your sideview mirror outward until you can no longer see the side of your car with this mirror. Remember! You want to be looking back down the lane beside your driver's side, not at the side of your car.

Move your passenger's sideview mirror outward.

Again, you do not want this mirror to duplicate the functionality of your review mirror. Instead of looking at the same thing your review mirror is looking at, you want this mirror looking at the lane beside you.

Check to see that you cannot see the sides of your car with your sideview mirrors.

Both of these mirrors should be adjusted to give a clear view of the lanes beside you, not the sides of your car.

Check to see that your mirrors do not duplicate each other.

All three mirrors -- your 2 sideview mirrors and your rearview mirror -- should each give you a unique perspective on what is behind you. If any one of these mirrors duplicates the view of the other, you have likely failed to adjust your mirrors properly.

Ask a friend to walk around the back of your car.

Make sure there is no direction from which your friend can approach your car and blindside you. Adjust your mirrors so that you can see your friend at all times.

Be on the lookout for blind spots.

As your friend circles your car, make sure that he can be seen from every angle. As he transitions from your rearview mirror to go to your passenger mirror, you should have a visual fix on him that is uninterrupted.

Likewise, there should be no interruptions in continuity as your friend travels from a rearview to a driver's side view in your mirrors.

You haven't got it right yet until all blind spots behind you are removed!

Check your sides and front as well.

You should be able to pick up your friend as he transitions from your sideview mirrors to your peripheral vision as he travels from the back of your car on either side to the front.

Remember! The goal is no blindspots.

Make sure you never have to move your head.

If your friend can travel completely around your car and you never lose sight of him while keeping your head pointed in a straight-ahead position, you are done.

It is your eyes you want to move as you drive, not your head.

The time it takes you to move your head could prove fatal! When driving, milliseconds count.

Aspire to always be aware of everything that is around you.

If you can acquire a 360 degree sense of everything that is around you as you drive, your driving will improve.

Never again let yourself be blindsided by another vehicle approaching your car -- no matter what direction that vehicle might come from. All vehicles approaching your car should be on your mental radar at all times.


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Sunday, November 06, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!


Quotes of the Day !!!
Never give up, never, never give up.
Mercy is the golden chain by which society is bound together.
Jokes of the Day !!!

Once Santa and Banta were celebrating in a bar. A man walks into the bar and asks what the fuss is all about.
Santa says: "We have just put together a 100 piece jigsaw puzzle in under six hours."
The man says: "So what's the big deal?"
To which Banta says "On the box it says from 3 to 5 years."

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Saturday, November 05, 2011

Chanakya's Thoughts - Modern Day Application


1) "Learn from the mistakes of others... you can't live long enough to make them all yourselves!!"
- Chanakya

2)"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and Honest people are screwed first."
- Chanakya

3)"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."
Chanakya

4)"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
- Chanakya

5)" Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."
- Chanakya

6)"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."
- Chanakya

7)"The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman."
- Chanakya

8)"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."
- Chanakya

9)"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction."
- Chanakya

10)"God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple."
- Chanakya

11) "A man is great by deeds, not by birth."
- Chanakya

12) "Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness."
- Chanakya

13) "Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends."
- Chanakya

14) "Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person."
- Chanakya

15) "Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth."
-Chanakya


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Thursday, November 03, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
Don't get too stressed over your looks. Remember that love for yourself is more important than anything else, because it's what moves you to achieve things.
Jokes of the Day !!!

Once, Santa was traveling by train. As fate should have, he was in the last compartment.
Now the problem was, whenever the train stopped at a station his compartment would never be on the platform.
So the poor guy always had to jump out at stations to fetch water and eatables. By the time he reached his destination, Santa was really pepped up and ran straight to the station master`s office to lodge a complaint.
This is what he wrote.
"Please see to it that there is no last compartment in any train. If you still insist on having a last compartment, please put it somewhere in the middle"
--------------------
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?" His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life." The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"

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Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!

When a man is willing and eager, the gods join in.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.
 Jokes of the Day !!!
Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are  co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

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Friday, October 21, 2011

Good Morning & Have a great Weekend Ahead !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
The vitality of thought is in adventure. Ideas won't keep. Something must be done about them.
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time,and still retain the ability to function.
Joke of the Day !!!
On leaving his office and reaching the tram stop, Banta found that the tram bound for his home had just started moving.
Banta in his anxiety, to get home fast, ran after the tram.
In the course of time, it was found that the race between the speeding tram and Banta ended with Banta reached home chasing the tram.
Gleefully upon entering the house, Banta exclaimed to his wife that he saved 2 Rupees chasing the home-bound tram!
Mrs Banta, however, was not amused. In fact, she was quite upset and said, "After all you are only dumb-headed. Instead of chasing the tram, if only you had chased a taxi, you could have saved 50 Rupees instead of a mere 2 Rupees."

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Stay Away from Anger... It Hurts Only You!...


Stay away from Anger... It hurts ... Only You!!!

The Buddha explained how to handle insult and maintain compassion. One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. "You have no right teaching others, he shouted." You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake."

Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man "Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?"

The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, "It would belong to me, because I bought the gift."

The Buddha smiled and said, "That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself."

"If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you yourself become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy."

The young man listened closely to these wise words of the Buddha. "You are right, o Enlightened One, "he said. "Please teach me the path of love. I wish to become your follower."

The Buddha answered kindly, "Of course. I teach anyone who truly wants to learn. Come with me."

Beautiful Quotes

If you are right then there is no need to get angry, And if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry.

Patience with family is love,
Patience with others is respect,
Patience with self is confidence and
Patience with GOD is faith.

Never Think Hard about PAST, It brings Tears...
Don't Think more about FUTURE, It brings Fears...
Live this Moment with a Smile, It brings Cheers.!!!!

Every test in our life makes us bitter or better,
Every problem comes to make us or break us,
Choice is our whether we become victim or victorious !!!

Search a beautiful heart not a beautiful face.
Beautiful things are not always good but
good things are always beautiful.

Remember me like pressed flower in your Notebook. It may not be having any fragrance but will remind you of my existence forever in your life.

Do you know, why God created gaps between fingers? So that someone who is special to you, comes and fills those gaps by holding your hands forever.
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Monday, October 10, 2011

MBA Management Lesson !!!

Please take the below article in proper humour, no offence meant to any intelligent MBA Grad!!!
_______________________________________________________

MBA Management Lesson - MBA (Mentally Below Average) Management Lessons

LESSON 1
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. 

They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"

So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff... And he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff¡-. And he was also gone.

The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"
_______________________________________________________

LESSON 2
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand, "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive.

He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."
MORAL OF THE STORY : "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"
_______________________________________________________

LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."

The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"Again, the! Japanese was confused over the question.
The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you ... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese! Etc......??? "
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am Japanese."

A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of 'key' was he.

The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee' am I?!"

The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"
MORAL OF THE STORY : "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"
_______________________________________________________

LESSON 4
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, and then your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, SHIT....,
MORAL OF THE STORY : "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"
_______________________________________________________

LESSON 5
The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:
Brain....... .. I should be in charge because I run all body functions.

Blood....... . I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.

Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.

Legs........ . I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go.

Eyes........ . I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.

Asshole..... I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.

All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.

To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and Stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.

Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly

Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable

Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred

Day 5 ! - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body

Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.
MORAL OF THE STORY: "NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE".
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Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!


Quotes of the Day !!!
Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.
You can't cross a sea by merely staring into the water.

Jokes of the Day !!!

Master to his students:

"Do you know? I have 2 daughters. Both are girls!!!"
(This guy definitely needs some counseling...)

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Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!

Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.
Envy is the ulcer of the soul.
 Tips of the Day !!!

Weight loss is tricky business given the number of weight loss tips and strategies flooding the airwaves. Can weight loss really be as simple as 'drinking green tea' or 'walking for 15 minutes' or, even better,
'drinking beer'? While weight loss is certainly not about quickfixes that have lasting effects, it can be about clever strategising that leads to healthy and permanent weight loss. No, you can't speed the process, but
yes, you can ensure that it doesn't take longer than it actually should. With that in mind, here are 10 essential weight loss strategies that'll help you on your quest of how to start losing weight.

1. Figure out how much weight you need to lose to be fit: Check your Body Mass Index, height and weight comparison charts, and consult a dietician if need be, but make sure that your weight loss targets are realistic.

2. Decide a diet plan that isn't too different from what you eat right now: Most dieters make the rookie mistake of cutting out all their comfort foods and crash dieting. Or worse still, following diets that call for
Western foods that aren't easily available or locally made. Stick to your cuisine, and your regular diet, but practise these rules:
Practise portion control
Cut down on salt
Avoid deep-fried food
Cut down on junk food
Drink enough water
Mantain a food journal
Stop mindless eating and drinking

3. Decide which workout time suits you best: Everyone doesn't have to  exercise early in the mornings. No real scientific evidence supports the notion of morning exercise being better than evening exercise. Again,
focus on sustainability. Can you make it to your workout at the time you've chosen, every single day?

4. This one's obvious, but tell us that you've started doing this for sure, and we'll stop mentioning it: Stock your kitchen with healthy food and fresh produce. Most successful weight loss pundits will tell you time
and again, that preparation is half the battle won. Follow these basic steps to ensure there's always a healthy snack at hand:
Stock your favourite fruits, vegetables, and meat (a ready stock of seafood is excellent for meat lovers who like to fix quick healthy snacks).
Test and perfect at least 5 quick and easy recipes using the above ingredients. These can be sandwiches, soups, curries, broths, just about anything you find appetising.
Once you test the recipes, you'll realise which other ingredients you need a daily stock of. Load up on those too.
Limit the aerated and packaged drinks in your house.
Split food ingredients as per meals and snacks. For ex: Eggs and toasts for breakfast, rotis-lentils-vegetable for lunch, peanut butter and toast for evening snack and so on.
5. Start a workout that has elements of cardio and weights: Both forms of exercise are equally important for weight loss. Look to spending no longer than 45 minutes on exercise every day.
6. Give up one unhealthy food a week: You know that vadapav isn't doing  your cholesterol any favours, nor is that ice cream laden milkshake. Shake these bad foods off your system, but shake them off gradually. Going cold turkey is stuff only very disciplined people can do. Know yourself well, and focus on your strengths.

7.  Strategise de-stressing: Simple enough when you hear it. But practise it, and the day's events will hit you like a storm. Again, planning and preparation to the rescue. Whether it's 30 minutes of music, 30 minutes of
reading, or 30 minutes of yoga, plan a clearly outlined system of de-stressing daily. Stress affects your waistline, and you don't want work to do more damage to your lifestyle.

8. By week 5, try to pick up at least one active hobby: You could clean your room, or simply play some game on the Wii. Better still, how about some squash, tennis, football, jogging - anything that caught your fancy as a kid and won't take much to get back into.

9. Hydrate: Drink at least enough water to keep the colour of your urine clear, and enough so that you don't feel thirsty all the time. While working out, focus on drinking at least a few sips every 5-8 minutes
(depending on intensity).

10. Plan an eating out strategy: The same deep-fried, salty, unhealthy foods mentioned in point 2, make a comeback here. Eat out, but eat out sensibly.

There you have it, 10 simple sounding, difficult to follow, yet not impossible weight loss strategies that will help you start losing weight. Above all, remember that weight loss begins and ends with what you eat and
drink, and how you burn it off.
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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren.
Lesson of the Day !!!

There is a crowd. One Man was looking sad has been crying for long. A old man sat near that person and he cracked a joke.
All laughed like crazy. After a moment he cracked the same joke again and a little less people laughed this time.
He cracked the same joke again and again, When there was no laughter in the crowd, he smiled and said

"When u can't laugh on the same joke again & again, then why do u keep crying over the same thing over and over again".

JOKE OF THE DAY !!!

Ram and Shyam are employed in a computer hardware store as movers. One day both of them are asked to move some computers. Ram being energetic that day does not feel the computer to be heavy at all. At the same time he sees that Shyam is struggling very hard to lift his computer.
At this Ram says, "What Shyam, my computer has 500 MB Hard Disk yours has just 250, even then you cannot lift it?"
At this Shyam thinks for a while and replies "That is right, but my HD is full and yours is empty."


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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle.
Think of yourself as attractive. No one has the right to judge how you look but you, and if you decide to be good-looking, then that is what you will portray and that is what you will be!

Jokes of the Day !!!

A man who was "wanted" in Russia had been photographed in six different positions, and the pictures duly circulated among the police department. A few days later the chief of police wrote to headquarters: "Sir, I have duly received the portraits of the six miscreants. I have arrested five of them, and the sixth will be secured shortly."

--

We sell greeting cards at my drugstore. A young woman handed me one to ring up. It read "To the one and only man in my life." Then she handed me a second card -- with the same message.

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Saturday, September 17, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
When you are kind to someone in trouble, you hope they'll remember and be kind to someone else. And it'll become like a wildfire.
There is an alchemy in sorrow. It can be transmuted into wisdom, which, if it does not bring joy, can yet bring happiness.

Jokes of the Day !!!

A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology. So he joined in and after one week of study, a test was held. The professor passed out a sheets of small paper where in each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's legs.
No bodies, no feet, just legs.
The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs. Our student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute. Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on the teacher's desk. "This is the worst test I have ever written." The teacher looked up and said: "Young man, you have not filled in anything and you definitely have failed the test. Tell me, what's your name?"
The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said, "You tell me..."

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Some Somalians open fire on an oil tanker, take hostage the 25 crew and hijack the vessel carrying $100million of oil ... I 'borrow' some music, TV and films from the internet and they want to sue me for piracy?
This world is messed up.

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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.
Say all you have to say in the fewest possible words, or your reader will be sure to skip them; and in the plainest possible words or he will certainly misunderstand them.

Jokes of the Day !!!

I arrived home from work to find all the windows and doors wide open.
Apparently our puppy had had an accident.

"Yeah, it really stank," my daughter told me. "In fact, when we first
walked in, I thought you had come home early and were cooking dinner."

--------------------

Indian Wives come from sophisticated culture of historic proportion.

They do not call their husbands in front of everyone 'Abey Gadhe".

They call them sweetly in public in abbreviated address "A.G. sunte ho?


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Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
Every man who accomplishes things sees first in his mind what he wishes to do. He puts away all doubt. It makes no difference how small or how large the thing you want to do may be; if you have an unlimited confidence in your ability to do it, you will do it.
When in doubt, tell the truth.
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JOKES OF THE DAY !!!!
-------------
Santa finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he s in serious financial trouble. He is so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray...
"Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I have lost my business and if I do not get some money, I am going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto".
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Santa goes back to the temple...
"Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I have lost my business, my house and I am going to lose my car as well".
Lotto night comes and Santa still has no luck!! Back to the temple...
"My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I have lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I do not often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won t you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order ?".
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and Santa is confronted by the voice of Lord:
"SANTA, BUY THE DAMN TICKET FIRST".


---------------------
Mike and Pat went hunting.
Mike saw a large goose fly by.
He raised his rifle to shoot.
'Don't waste your time,' Pat hollered.
'The rifle is not loaded.' 'I can't wait,' Mike shouted back.
'The bird will be gone if I take the time to load!'

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Saturday, September 10, 2011

Employee ki biwi boli...

A true Fact of Life :

Beemar Employee se uski biwi boli - Iss bar koi janwaro ke doctor ko dikhao tabhi aap theek hoge…

Pati - Woh kyon ?

Biwi - Roz Subah Murge ki tarah jaldi uthh jate ho...

Ghode ki tarah bhag ke office chale jate ho...

Gadhe ki tarah dinbhar kaam karte ho...

Lomdi ki tarah idhar-udhar se information batorkar Report banate ho...

Bandar ki tarah boss ke ishare par nachte ho...

Ghar aakar pariwar per kutte ki tarah chillate ho, aur fir Bhainse ki tarah so jate ho.

Insaano ka doctor tumhe kya khakh thik kar payega..!!

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IITian and Rickshaw-wala...

This is a very interesting anecdote, which i came across a few days back.. hope you like this as much~!

There were two rickshaw-walas vying for our business, when we wanted to go to Sankat-Mochan temple in Benaras. I agreed to go with the one, who was about 20 years of age, seemed like a regular young rickshaw-wala, but I found something interesting about him. I was not proved wrong.
He wanted Rs 50, we said Rs 30. We settled for Rs 40.
Here are the highlights of the conversation that ensued, while we rode the rickshaw:
"Aap kahan se aaye hain?"
"Delhi."
"Bijness, ya kaam karte hain?"
"Naukri karte hain."
"Kismein?"
"Internet mein."
"Humara bhi kuch wahin kaam lagwa dijiye."
I just chuckled.
"Main try kar raha hoon engineering padhne kee. Achchi naukri lag jaayegi tab."
"Achcha?" I asked a little interested.
"Haan, delhi mein Guru Gobind Singh Indraprashta University mein engineering ke liye apply kiya hai. Achchi hai woh university."
"Haan, achchi hai", I agreed.
"Haan, kal hee maine JEE bhi diya."
"JEE matlab, IIT ka?"
"Haan, Joint Entrance Examination" he pronounced it perfectly.Just to make it clear to me what JEE stood for. "Mushkil hota hai exam."
"Haan, 2 saal toh log padhte hee hain uske liye, asaan nahin hai."
"Delhi mein Akaash coaching institute hain na?"
"Haan, hai."
"Aapne kya padhai kee?"
"Main engineer hoon, aur phir MBA bhi kiya."
"Kahan se engineer?"
"IIT Delhi se."
He swung back, surprised, a little delighted, and smiled. "Ok,
aapke liye Rs 30."
Swati and I laughed.
Swati asked "Padhai kab karte they IIT ke liye?"
"Bas, rickshaw chalaane ke baad raat mein". Then he added
"Kismein engineering kee aapne?"
"Chemical."
"Toh aapki Chemistry toh badi strong hogi."
"Nahin, aisa nahin hai."
He continued "Yeh bataiye....jab Mendeleev ne Periodic Table banaya tha tab kitne elements they usmein?"
Now it was my turn to get surprised. He was quizzing me. I said "Shayad 70-80."
"No, 63" he said sharply. "Kaunse element kee electronegativity highest hai?"
Swati was laughing, and I didnt try too hard and said "Pata nahin."
"Flourine", he said confidently. Without a break he asked,"Kaunse element kee electron affinity highest hoti hai?"
Now I was laughing too and said "Nahin pata"
"Chlorine. toh aapka kaunsa subject strong tha?" clearly having proven that my chemistry wasn't a strong point.
"Physics", I said.
"Achha, Newton's second law of motion kya hai?"
I thought I knew this one. "F=ma", I said.
"Physics is not about formula, it is understanding concept!", he reprimanded me in near perfect English. "Tell me in statement"
I was shocked. Swati continued to laugh.
I said "ok, Newtons second law, er....was...."
" 'Was' nahin, 'is'!Second law abhi bhi hai!" he snapped at my use of 'was'.
Surely, my physics wasn't impressing him either. "Yaad nahin, I said"
"Force on an object is directly proportional to the mass of the object and the acceleration of the object", he said it in near perfect
English. "Aapne M.Tech nahin kiya?"
"Nahin, MBA kiya"
"MBA waale toh sirf paisa kamana chahte hain, kaam nahin karte."
"Nahin, aisa nahin hai, paisa kamaane ke liye kaam karna padta hai." Didn't think too highly of me apparently anymore.
In a minute we reached our destination. We got off and I told
him that he must and should definitely study more, and that I thought he was sharp as hell. He took only Rs 30, smiled and began to leave. I got my camera out and said "Raju, ek photo leta hoon tumhari". He waved me off, dismissed the idea and rode off before I could say anything more....leaving me feeling high and dry like a spurned lover.
Damn, what a ride that was! India is changing, and changing fast.
And so it goes !!!!!

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Friday, September 09, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
To love another person is to see the face of God
The disappearance of a sense of responsibility is the most far-reaching consequence of submission to authority
Jokes of the Day !!!

Santa is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. I am only following the instructions - Answer in brief.

---------

Shopper:—"Are these eggs fresh?"
Apprentice:—"Yes, ma'am, they be."
Shopper:—"How long since they were laid?"
Apprentice:—"'Tain't ten minutes, ma'am—I know, I laid them eggs there myself."

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Thursday, September 08, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!

The secret of greatness is simple: do better work than any other man in your field - and keep on doing it.
Be yourself! Get over jealousy and comparisons to others.
 Story and learning of the Day !!!

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS ...HAPPENS FOR THE GOOD ....HAVE FAITH....
HE/SHE/GOD OR WHATEVER WILL NOT ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN OTHERWISE...READ ON..

Hope you like this story, it has some good reflections!!

A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life,
Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday. " Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me? "

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago, " Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it, " Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in, " Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life, " she said

"He's the one who taught me carpentry, " he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral, " Jack
said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack? " his Mom asked.

"The box is gone, " he said

"What box? " Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,' " Jack said.

It was gone.. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him, " Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom. "

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package.. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days, " the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention.. "Mr.
Harold Belser " it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents toJack Bennett.
It's the thing I valued most in my life. " A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

"Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser. "

"The thing he valued most was....my time "

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why? " Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son, " he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time! "

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away, "

Think about this. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

 1.At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
 2.At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
 3.A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
 4.Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
 5.You mean the world to someone.
 6.If not for you, someone may not be living.
 7.You are special and unique.
 8.When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you trust God to do what's best, and wait on His time, sooner or later, you will get it or something better.
 9.When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.
 10.When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
 11.Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
 12.Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
 13. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy.
 14.If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

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Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with the important matters.
 What I know for sure is that what you give comes back to you.

Jokes of the Day !!!
Teacher - Where is LOVE born?
Boy - Probably in CHINA.
Teacher - Why?
Boy - Because anything MADE IN CHINA has NO Warranty and NO Guarantee.
--------------
An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. "Tell me," inquired the interviewer,
"where do you expect to be ten years from now?"
"Well, let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon. I guess I'll be on the golf course by now."

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Tuesday, September 06, 2011

THE SECOND CHANCE

It was 25th January 2008. Neeta was waiting for her husband Akshaye. It was their marriage anniversary. Things had changed since their marriage. From cute couple they turned into a fighting one. They quarreled everyday on every small thing. Neeta gave up thinking that Akshaye must have forgotten their anniversary and surely won't be back home on time. 

Akshaye too didn't like how the things were going. She was so loving, so caring before marriage how everything got changed so radically. Yet they still love each other. 

It was 4:00 p.m. The bell rang. Neeta was surprisingly happy… Akshaye finally remembered… She ran to open the door. Indeed Akshaye was standing outside. He was smiling and had a bunch of flowers at his hand. The two then started reliving their beautiful days, making up for their quarrels. There was champagne, light music and it was raining a little outside.. Overall the weather too seemed to get romantic along with them. 

But the moment came to a slight pause.. The phone in the bedroom was ringing.. Quite agitated Neeta went to pick up the phone. It was a man on the other side..." Hello madam I am calling from the police station. Is it Mr Akshaye Malhotra's number???" 

"Yeah, it is" 

There was an accident and a Man. died. We got your number from the man's purse.We need you to come here and identify the body.." 

Neeta's heart sank. "Whhhhaaat?? B-but my husband is here with me?" 

"Sorry madam the accident took place at 3:00 p.m when the man was trying to board a bus". 

Neeta was about to lose her senses. How could this happen? She knew this type of things. She had heard about this. The soul of the person comes to meet you before it parts..She ran to the drawing room.. Akshaye was not there… It is true? Has something that bad really happened to Akshaye??? Has he left her forever??Oh God…had she been given another chance …she would have mended all her faults… She rolled down on the floor awe struck. 

Suddenly there was noise from the bathroom.. Akshaye came out …" I forgot to tell u dear my purse was stolen while I was returning home…" 

Live, Laugh, Love, Forget, Forgive
Its never too late to say..." I am sorry "...." I love you"..."I care for you"......."You are my best frend"...... Life might not give u a second chance…..So never waste a moment when u can make up for your deeds. So appreciate what you have and make best of it...... !!!!!

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
If you ask what is the single most important key to happiness and peace, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
All men have a sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on. It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out.
Story of the Day !!!

Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner... who lives with a girl roommate Sunita.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's, roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his room mate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar.
You don't suppose she took it, do you? "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from my house,
I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney jar.
But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read :
Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and
I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sunita.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the chutney jar by now.

Love,
Mom.

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Monday, September 05, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
We do not keep the outward form of order, where there is deep disorder in the mind.
We must preserve our right to think and differ.
Jokes of the Day !!!
Old Man goes to the doctor complaining of hearing loss.
The doctor examines him and says he wants to fix the fellow with a new hearing aid. This is the finest hearing aid now being manufactured. I wear one myself, says the doctor.
What kind is it? Asks the old man.
About half past four!
---------------
"Father," said a little boy, "had Solomon seven hundred wives?"
"I believe so, my son," said the father.
"Well, father, was he the man who said, 'Give me liberty or give me death?"

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Friday, September 02, 2011

Jokes and Quotes for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
We cannot deny the facts of nature, but we should certainly try to improve on them.
Creativity is...seeing something that doesn't exist already.You need to find out how you can bring it into being and that way be a playmate with God.
Jokes of the Day !!!

The grateful woman on the farm in Arkansas wrote to the vendors of the patent medicine:

Four weeks ago I was so run down that I could not spank the baby. After taking three bottles of your Elegant Elixir I am now able to thrash my husband in addition to my other housework. God bless you!

----------------

What kind of bird can carry the most weight?
The crane!

-----------------

SHE—"They say that an apple a day will keep the doctor away."
HE—"Why stop there? An onion a day will keep everybody away."

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HAPPY GANESH CHATURTHI !!!

HAPPY GANESH CHATURTHI !!!

May Lord Ganesh remove all problems and sorrows & give happiness and prosperity to you, your family and friends
NAMO GANESHA VIGHNESHA GIRIJA NANDAN PRABHU MAMA VIGHNA VINASHAYA GANADHIPATAYE NAMAHA
Drawn By : Sambhuram Patnaik

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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Spill-Overs for Today !!!

EID MUBARAK :)

Quotes of the Day !!!
Blessed are those who can give without remembering, and take without forgetting.
When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.
Jokes of the day !!!

A man walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more.
The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time."
The man replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canada and I'm here in London .
When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.
The man became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
He order 3-Beers and drinks them in turn.
One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says," I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss."
The man looked confused for a moment, and then he laughs.... "Oh, no," he, said, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive".
The only thing is
............
I just quit drinking!!!

-------------------
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man says without hesitation - "I now pronounce you man and wife."
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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Spill-Overs for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
Miracles: You do not have to look for them. They are there, 24-7, beaming like radio waves all around you. Put up the antenna, turn up the volume - snap... crackle... this just in, every person you talk to is a chance to
change the world...
 Success is not built on success. It's built on failure. It's built on frustration. Sometimes its built on catastrophe                    
Story of the Day !!! Motivator:-(Success, Failure and Frustration...)
A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his shoes. He had asked for help and the teacher could not make out why with her pulling and him pushing, the shoes did not want to go on! When the second shoe was on, and the teacher had worked up a sweat, the boy said, :Madam, they are on the wrong feet!"

She looked. Sure enough, they were!

It was not easy to pull the shoes off.

And then when she had managed to get the first shoe on the correct foot and was about to get the second one on the other, the boy announced, "They are not my shoes!"

The teacher bit her tongue and said to the boy, "Why did not you tell me this at the very beginning?"

The boy replied, "They are my brother's. My mom made me wear them!"

The teacher did not know whether to laugh or to cry. She then managed to get the second shoe on.
When she thought it was all over, then she saw the socks were not put on.She asked the boy, "Where are your socks, son?"

He told her with a child's innocence that he had stuffed them in the front
of his shoes...!

It was only then that the teacher realized why she had difficulty in getting the shoes on to the boy's feet!

Many of our frustrations comes as a result of having to do something over and over again. Whether it is paying the bills, dealing with harsh criticism, the situation at work, expectations not met, struggles of dealing with a rebellious child at home, when you are about to feel that at least you are near to see light at the end of the tunnel, you face more unexpected adversity! Life is not an easy matter. You cannot live through it without falling into frustration. Our frustration is greater when we have much and want more than when we have nothing and want some. You want to think and say that you have everything you need, but then you realize that something is missing, someone is missing... and once you think you've found it, it goes and disappears on you and you don't understand what to do or even where to start looking for that missing piece of the puzzle. You sit in lonely frustration and you just wait...wait...and wait. No where to look, no one to look for. We are less dissatisfied when we lack many things than when we seem to lack but one thing. Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment. It is hardly possible to build anything if frustration, bitterness and a mood of helplessness prevail.Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion, and one must prefer to laugh. Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success. All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail. That is the talisman, the formula, the command of right about face which turns us from failure to success. Frustration is the compost from which the mushrooms of creativity grow. We should  believe that all our past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living we now enjoy. People who fail to achieve their goals usually get stopped by frustration. They allow frustration to keep them from taking the necessary actions that would support them in achieving their desire. You get through this roadblock by plowing through frustration, taking each setback as feedback you can learn from, and pushing ahead. You'll not find many successful people who have not experienced this. All successful people learn that success is buried on the other side of frustration. People need trouble - a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it; you have to learn fortitude, endurance. Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.

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Monday, August 29, 2011

Spill-Overs for Today !!!!


Quotes of the Day !!!
Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.
Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny.

Jokes of the Day !!!

Santa: What did you think of the second act of the play?
Banta: I did not see it. In the programme it said "Second Act- One year later" and I could not wait that long.
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Lady (to applicant for situation as cook): "Have you been accustomed to have a kitchen-maid under you?"
Cook: "In these days we never speak of having people 'under us.' But I have had colleagues."

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Saturday, August 27, 2011

Metamorphosis Coming up soon !!!

Come September 1st there will be a major upgrade of the blog. Many things will change, and many will not...

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Friday, August 26, 2011

Spill-Overs for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.
Always behave like a duck - keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.

Jokes of the Day !!!

Banta got tired of being the butt of jokes and decided to do his PhD.
While looking out for a unique subject to write his thesis on he saw a cockroach walking around.
Banta placed the cockroach on the table and cut one of its legs. And said to him, "WALK!"
The cockroach moves forward.
Then Banta cut its second leg and shouted, "WALK!"
The cockroach manages to move forward.
Banta then cut its third leg and commanded, "WALK!" The cockroach manages to wriggle forward on one leg.
Finally Banta cut its fourth leg and shouted, "WALK !".
The poor cockroach could not move and lay helplessly on the table.
Banta repeated the same experiment with over a thousand cockroaches. And he found all results matched.
Banta was jubilant, "Now! My thesis is ready!"
He proceeds to write down the subject: "When All Four Legs of A Cockroach Are Cut it becomes Deaf!"

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TEACHER—"Freddie, you musn't laugh out loud in the schoolroom."
FREDDIE—"I didn't mean to do it. I was smiling, and the smile busted."

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Thursday, August 25, 2011

Spill-Overs for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.
He is not a lover who does not love forever
 Jokes of the Day !!!

"Shine yer boots, sir?"
"No," snapped the man.
"Shine 'em so's yer can see yer face in 'em?" urged the bootblack.
"No, I tell you!"
"Coward," hissed the bootblack.

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I dialed a wrong number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but I thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."


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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Homepage Friendly - Custom Search Added!!!

I have made the blog more "Homepage" Friendly... For all those who have google as their homepage can now have this blog as their homepage with a google search right at the top of the blog!!! Please let me know your comments on this.

Spill-Overs for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!

Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit.
Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need.
 Jokes of the Day !!!

Banta: "Yaar Santa, last year the name-plate outside your house read Santa B.A. This year it reads Santa M.A.; when did you get your Masters degree?
Santa: "You don`t understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A to Indicate Bachelor Again. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is married again."

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A doctor came to the mental hospital to visit his patients. In one of the rooms, he saw a man walking around, dragging a toothbrush on a leash.
The doctor asked the man: "What are you doing, walking the dog?"
The man replied: "Oh no, I'm just dragging my toothbrush on a leash."

The doctor left the room amazed, thinking how many normal people end up in mental institutions...
And the man said to his toothbrush: "Ha, Fifi, we tricked him!"
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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Marry the Men Off !!!


On a lighter note... :)

यदि अन्ना की शादी हो गई होती तो यह आंदोलन कभी न होता। क्योंकि, तब मामला कुछ ऐसा होता-

1. कहां जा रहे हो ?
2. अकेले तुम्हें ही पड़ी है अनशन में जाने की
3. ये केज़रीवाल का साथ छोड़ो
4. वो बाल कटी वाली लड़की कौन है ? बार-बार बगल में आकर बैठती है
5. शाम तक आ जाओगे न ?
6. पहुंचते ही फोन करना...वगैरह वगैरह..
7. बिजली के बिल देने के पैसे नहीं हैं और आप लोकपाल बिल ले आए हो
8. ये केज़रीवाल तुम्हें मरवाएगा
9. मुन्ना के लिए दो चार फ्री की टोपी ले आना

Best solution for preventing such Aandolans.. Marry the men off..

Spill-Overs for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
Those who face that which is actually before them, unburdened by the past, undistracted by the future, these are they who live, who make the best use of their lives; these are those who have found the secret of contentment.
If you aren't good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you'll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren't even giving to yourself.

Jokes of the Day !!!

On a summer holiday in New York Banta decided to visit a bar.
At the bar, the man sitting on Banta`s left told the bartender, `Johnie Walker, single.`
Then the man on his right ordered, `Jack Daniels, single. `
When the barman turned to Banta for an order, he said, 'Banta, married.'

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Jack accidentally bumped onto a woman on the street.
"I`m so sorry," he apologized.
"That`s quite all right," the woman replied. "You know," she added with a smile, "you look just like my fifth husband."
"Wow," said Jack. "How many times have you been married?"
"Four"
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Monday, August 22, 2011

Spill-Overs for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
In order to improve the mind, we ought less to learn, than to contemplate
Take care of the minutes and the hours will take care of themselves
Jokes of the Day !!!

Just because one owns a business doesn't mean it has to be all business. This sign in a dentist's office proves that point: "Be True to Your Teeth, or They Will Be False to You."

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
7. Users find 137 new bugs.
8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
12. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.
13. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free…

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Happy Janmashtami !!!


Happy Janmashtami !!!
May Lord Krishna Give you,your family and friends all happiness and prosperity..

Friday, August 19, 2011

Spill-Overs for Today !!!!

Quotes of the Day !!!!
The basic thing is that everyone wants happiness, no one wants suffering. And happiness mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors. If your own mental attitude is correct, even if you remain in a hostile atmosphere, you feel happy.
If thou are a master, be sometimes blind; if a servant, sometimes deaf.
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JOKES OF THE DAY !!!

A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast. Everybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot. However one citizen was shot at 9.45pm.
"Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his superior officer.
"I know where he lives," he replied, "and he wouldn't have made it."
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Ramu and Somu went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.
The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can`t eat your own sandwiches here!"
They looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

Have a Good Weekend!!!
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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Spill-Overs for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!

May no gift be too small to give, nor too simple to receive, which is wrapped in thoughtfulness and tied with love.
 Stand up straight. This makes you look like you respect yourself, and others will follow your lead.

Jokes for the Day !!!
A wealthy man sat in his attorney's office.
"Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked.
"Give me the bad news first." "Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."
"That's the bad news?" the man asked incredulously.
"I can't wait to hear the terrible news."
"It's of you and your mistress."
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student after checking his Result:
What the Hell!!!!
I have failed?
That too in English?
.UNPOSSIBLE :)
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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Spill-Overs for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
When you accomplish one of your short-term or long-term goals, make sure that you reward yourself well
Feel good about yourself. When you feel good, you look good. People are attracted to and feel comfortable with people who respect themselves. Liking yourself and respecting yourself doesn't mean you are conceited, it just shows others that you care about your body. A fun, light personality makes everyone comfortable. Be yourself, be warm to others, and feel great. Soon enough, others are bound to notice.

Jokes of the Day !!!

Oh! Are you really a mind-reader?"
"Yes! I am."
"Then I hope you aren't offended. I didn't mean what I thought about you."

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"Would you mind tooting your factory whistle a little?"
"What for?"
"For my father over yonder in the park. He's a trifle deaf and he hasn't heard a robin this summer."
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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Spill-Overs for Today !!!

Quotes of the Day !!!
I've found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often.
You must dare to disassociate yourself from those who would delay your journey... Leave, depart, if not physically, then mentally. Go your own way, quietly, un-dramatically, and venture toward trueness at last.
 Jokes of the Day !!!

 Sanju in Delhi made a trunk call to his old friend in Amritsar. `Manju yarr, ` He said, `I am in great difficulty. Can you send me Rs 500? I will return them within a month. `
 `Hello! Hello! ` replied Manju, `I cannot hear you. The line is very faint. `
 Sanju repeated more loudly, `Send me Rs 500. I will return them soon. `
 "I cannot hear a word,` replied Manju, `you ring me another time.`
 The operator who was listening, interrupted, `The line is absolutely clear. Your friend in Delhi wants you to send him Rs 500. `
 Manju snapped back at the operator, `If you can hear him clearly, why don't you lend him Rs 500?

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 TRAVELER (on an English train)—"Shall I have time to get a drink?"

 GUARD—"Yes, sir."

 TRAVELER—"Can you give me a guarantee that the train won't start?"

 GUARD—"Yes, I'll take one with you!"

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 "Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or other adults acting like  children."
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Monday, August 15, 2011

Happy Independence Day !!!


31 States, 1618 Languages, 6400 Castes, 6 Religion, 6 Ethnic Groups, 29 Major festivals 1 Country!

Be Proud to be an Indian!..

Friday, August 12, 2011

WISH U A HAPPY RAKSHA BANDHAN !!!

Everyone loves a good story and when it is about a festival it's even better, isn't it? So here they are -- stories of Raksha Bandhan from history and mythology so you can know and tell all about why we celebrate this festival.

Krishna and Draupadi
Perhaps the most popular of the rakhi stories in our mythology is that of Lord Krishna and Draupadi -- the wife of the five Pandavas.

An incident in their lives finds a mention amongst the various stories of the Mahabharata.

According to one version on a Sankranti day, Krishna managed to cut his little finger while handling sugarcane. Rukmini, his queen immediately sent her help to get a bandage cloth while Sathyabama, his other consort rushed to bring some cloth herself. Draupadi who was watching all of this rather simply tore off a part of her sari and bandaged his finger.In return for this deed, Krishna promised to protect her in time of distress.

The word he is said to have uttered is 'Akshyam' which was a boon: 'May it be unending'.

And that was how Draupadi's sari became endless and saved her embarrassment on the day she was disrobed in full public view in king Dritarashtra's court.

Rani Karnavati and Emperor Humayun
Among the many tales of Raksha Bandhan, a version of the story of Rani Karnavati and Emperor Humayun is one that often finds a mention.

Karnavati was the regent of Mewar after the death of her husband Rana Sanga. She ruled in the name of her elder son Vikramjeet. When Bahadur Shah of Gujarat attacked Mewar for the second time -- he had
defeated Vikramjeet earlier -- the queen began reaching out to her nobles for support.

Initially apprehensive, the nobles finally agreed to take on Shah. In the meanwhile, Karnavati also wrote to Humayun, for help. She sent him a rakhi and sought protection.

Interestingly, Humayun's father Babur had defeated Rana Sanga when he led a confederation of Rajput armies against him in 1527.

The Mughal emperor was in the middle of another military campaign when he received the call for help. Abandoning it he turned his attention to Mewar. Unfortunately, he never made it on time. As the Rajput army was defeated in Chittor -- where the battle was taking place -- Karnavati committed Jauhar -- an act of self-immolation to protect herself from indignity of falling in the hands of Bahadur Shah.

Shah however could not go any further and had to turn away from Chittor as Mughal military reinforcements arrived soon after.

Humayun then restored the kingdom to Karnavati's son, Vikramjit.

Yama and the Yamuna
According to another legend, the ritual of Raksha Bandhan would be followed by Yama, the Lord of Death and Yamuna, the river that flows in India.

The story goes that when Yamuna tied a rakhi to Yama, the lord of death granted her immortality. And so moved he was by the gesture, he is said to have declared that any brother who was tied a rakhi and offered to protect his sister would also become immortal.

Roxana and King Porus
Another legend has it that when Alexander the Great invaded India in 326 BC, his wife, Roxana sent Porus, a sacred thread and asked him not to harm her husband on the battlefield.

Honouring the request, when he confronts Alexander, he refuses to kill him. Eventually, Porus would lose the battle of the Hydaspes River but would gain Alexander's respect and honour. Eventually, after his death, Porus would become a very loyal Macedonian satrap.

The birth of Santoshi Maa
Now even though this tale has no basis in the Hindu scriptures, the take of the birth of Santoshi Maa has been linked to the festival of Raksha Bandhan.

Popularised by the 1975 Bollywood film Jai Santoshi Maa, the tale goes somewhat like this:

On the auspicious day, Lord Ganesha's sister Manasa visits him to tie him the rakhi. On seeing this, Ganesha's sons -- Shubha and Labha -- begin insisting on having a sister.

Giving in to their demands, Ganesha creates goddess Santoshi from the divine flames that are said to have emerged from his consorts -- Riddhi and Siddhi.

Goddess Laxmi and King Bali
Unlike the previous one, this legend does find mention in various Hindu scriptures.

A version of this story goes thus:

As part of a promise, Lord Vishnu has been protecting his devotee and the demon King Bali, disguising himself as his doorman. Back in Vaikunth, the abode of Vishnu, his consort Laxmi has been missing
him.

Disguising herself as a woman seeking a shelter to live in, since her husband has been away, she approaches Bali. The generous king opens the doors of his palaces for the lady. As Laxmi, the goddess of wealth and prosperity enters the household Bali begins to prosper.

On the full moon day of in the holy month of Shravana, Laxmi ties a thread of coloured cotton on Bali's wrist and wishes for protection and happiness.

Bali asks her what she desires and promises to fulfil it.

Laxmi simply points to the gatekeeper who now reveals his real identity. The goddess follows suit.

Bali keeps his promise and requests Vishnu to return to his home with his consort. In return, Vishnu promises to return and be with Bali for four months of each year.

WISH U A HAPPY RAKSHA BANDHAN...